La Douleur Exquise
by dumac
Summary: La douleur exquise (n.) the heart-wrenching pain of wanting the affection of someone unattainable. When Marceline loses the person who meant the most to her, how far will she have to go to get them back? { Bubbline. Modern-ish AU. }


It was bound to happen, but not now. Please, no. Not now. Any time but now.

The dark-haired girl stared down at the blonde laying down in the hospital bed. She was only 24. No, wait. She _is_ only 24. Marceline hadn't lost her yet. Yet. But it was inevitable.

Marceline was squeezing the blonde's hand almost too hard. The girl was awake, she was conscious, but she barely had the strength to open her eyes. Marceline just stared at her. She didn't look like the girl she fell in love with anymore. The blonde was too pale. She hadn't seen the sun outside the hospital walls that she always loved so much in months. She had hollow cheeks and looked like nothing but skin and bone. Even the hand she was holding was bony, and it didn't warm Marceline's hand like it used to when she was alive. The blonde wasn't dead, but the state she was in was one that Marceline couldn't exactly call 'alive.'

She was deep in thought. A million different things were running through her mind. She couldn't focus on one thought for more than 2 seconds before another pushed its way into her mind.

"Marceline."

Her eyes shot to the girls face. Her eyes were still closed. Even her voice wasn't the same as she knew it. It was quiet and rough, rather than bold and clear.

The repetitive beep of the heart monitor was brought back to Marceline's attention. She had worked for days to learn how to ignore it. She didn't realize it at that exact moment, but she noticed it because the pace of the beeps had changed slightly.

Marceline bowed her head down to hear her better. It took the blonde a minute to work up the energy to say her final sentence. She inhaled deeply through her nose, and exhaled shakily with a slight smile. "It was fun while it lasted. I—" Nothing.

Marceline waited for her to finish, but instead of words, the repetitive beeping of the monitor changed into one singular, steady beep. The annoying repetitive beeps were now a sound that Marceline deeply missed. The blonde was now officially gone.

The millions of thoughts rushing through Marceline's head halted. She stood up straight and let go of the blonde's hand, which was now even colder than before. She listened to the sound of shoes walking down the hall outside of the door. Something inside her knew that whoever it was would be coming through that door at any moment, and she was right.

The doorknob twisted and a doctor holding a clipboard stepped in. Marceline stared at him. He was looking at the blonde in the bed, and then met Marceline's eyes. They just stared at each other before it was all just too much for her.

The beep that kept reminding her that the person she loved was dead right beside her was driving her insane, and so was staring at this man. Deep inside, she knew he couldn't have done anything to save her, but damn it, he should have been able to do something.

The doctor started to open his mouth to say something to her, but she didn't want to hear it. She swung around and drove her fist into the screen of the heart monitor. Needless to say, the beeping stopped. She stomped around the bed and out the door, pushing the surprised doctor to the ground as she did.

She walked fast until the door to that room was no longer in her line of sight. Finding the nearest elevator, she was thankful that it was very late at night, and not many people were in the hospital. She pressed the button next to the elevator doors and stepped in as they opened. Thankfully, it was empty. Marceline pressed the button that would send her to the ground level of the hospital so that she could leave and never come back. The doors started to close and she leaned back against the elevator wall. She put her head in her hands and started to cry. She was crushed, and furious, and that wasn't a good combination for her. The fact that there was nothing in the elevator for her to hit made her even more frustrated.

The bell on the elevator rang, and she looked up. Much to her disappointment , she had not reached the ground level. Someone was getting onto the elevator with her.

The doors opened, and Marceline clenched her jaw. She recognized the woman who stepped in there with her. She had thick brown hair pulled up into a bun, and odd clothes that you wouldn't see on an everyday person, because she wasn't an everyday person at all.

Marceline wiped the tears from her eyes and the woman stood next to her.

"It's been years, Marceline, how are you?" The woman asked.

"What the hell do you want, Maja?" Marceline wiped her nose.

"I just want to know how you are, child." She assured her.

"I've seen better days." Marceline sighed, the stood up straight, no longer using the elevator wall for support. "I'll be honest, you're the last person I wanna see right now. You're the reason that I can't just go home, kill myself, and be done with it."

Maja shook her head, "You're quick to make decisions, child. You don't want to do that."

"Last time I checked, you don't know what I want." Marceline said through her teeth.

"I've seen situations like yours before. I—"

"Don't act like you're my friend right now! Don't act like you're going to help me out when you're the reason that I'm in this situation." Marceline ranted at her.

"I think you're forgetting something I told you once, Marceline." Maja told her, "Mortals are reincarnated as soon as they die."

Marceline had her arms crossed, but her eyes widened when she realized what Maja said to her. She said nothing.

"Also, you know you don't have to be immortal. I can change you back, but for a price. You know that."

"A price that I have no idea how to pay!" Marceline snapped.

"Just give me something with sentimental value. Enough sentimentality that I think is equal to the value of your mortality." Maja explained, saying the last sentence a little bit quicker.

"That!" Marceline yelled. "That's what I'm talking about! The value of my mortality? What the fuck does that mean!?"

Maja smirked, "You'll know when you find it." The bell of the elevator rang. "Good luck, Marceline."

The black-haired girl stepped out of the elevator and didn't bother looking back. She knew Maja was already gone, and she had more important things on her mind.


End file.
